It appears
that the people of SNL read the blogs of high school students looking for class
credit. I have determined this based on the simple fact that JEBIDIAH ATKINSON
RETURNED TO THE WEEKEND UPDATE! The SNL Episode of January 31, hosted by JK
Simmons, featured one of the better Weekend Update installments in recent
memory. It was certainly a better segment than that of January 24, with the
awful Riblet. This segment brought the edginess and humor sorely missing from
the previous episodes’ Weekend Updates. Let’s dive right in.
Now, if you
read my previous blog post, you may remember that I was lamenting the fact that
the Weekend Update was not funny anymore; that the sketch had lost its edginess
that so often before had brought humor. Previous weeks had seen the Weekend
Update refusing to make fun of celebrities and powerful people, perhaps to be
politically correct. But this refusal left the Update seeming too “safe” for
lack of a better term. The jokes had been unfunny, the delivery flat, and the
audience reaction awkward.
However, the
most recent episode righted these wrongs with hilarious jokes, funny guest
characters, and surprisingly competent delivery by Colin Jost and Michael Che. The
jokes were actually funny this time, aside from the guests, because they were
well-written. Here are a couple of my favorites:
“A new
report shows that half the dogs in the U.S. are overweight, which explains why
the most popular breed in America is the ‘Type-2 DiaBeagle.’” (Insert funny
picture of fat beagle)
(About
making stamps for lesser-known African-American heroes for Black History Month)
“There’s a stamp for Crispus Attucks, the first American to die in the
Revolutionary War, but what about a stamp for Crispus Attucks’ mother: the
first black woman to name her son Crispus?”
“Disney this
week unveiled Elena, its first Latina princess. Oh sure, but when I call
someone a ‘Latina Princess’ I’m ‘ruining the quinceañera.’”
“People fled
a courtroom in Arkansas after more than 30 bats flew inside during the trial. ‘Ugghh,
that does NOT look good for me,’ said the woman on trial for witchcraft.”
“A cat, who
was buried by its owner after it was hit by a car, dug its way out of the grave
and returned to its owner five days later. That story again: a lady found a cat
that looked like her old cat.”
 |
| This dog here is Cowboy, and he's no Type-2 DiaBeagle! |
Interestingly,
these jokes were all said after the first guest, and I chose these ones because
those before the first guest were not very funny. These jokes listed above I liked for
multiple reasons. First of all, my family owns two beagles named Dallas and
Cowboy. (*Prepares for onslaught of Dallas Cowboys-haters in the comments
section) These beagles are adorable little creatures who are quite plump, I
must say, so a joke about beagles would naturally appeal to me. Also, I am a
fan of stupid puns, and this pun was quite stupid, so it gets points in my
book. I thought it was funny how Michael Che brought up that Crispus Attucks’
mother deserved a stamp for something as trivial as naming her child. The Disney/Latina
joke was funny, partially because of Michael Che’s reaction “How many quinceañeras
are you going to, man?” The bat joke was just plain funny to me. No further
explanation needed. And finally, the cat joke, while somewhat cruel, got me
laughing for a few reasons. 1: “The Simpsons” features a “crazy cat lady”
character, and “The Office” features Angela, a character who owns many cats and
is slightly insane. These have popularized an idea that cat-owners are crazy. 2:
The story itself is insane, so no punchline is needed, but the given punchline
is plain funny. 3: I am not a cat person. So jokes about cats make me laugh.
For example, the Steve Martin movie “The Jerk” features a horrific practice called
“cat-juggling” which you can view right here if you so desire.
These jokes,
as I stated previously, were after the first guest, who was quite funny. Cecily
Strong portrayed “A One-Dimensional Female Character From a Male-Driven Comedy,”
and through this portrayal, the audience was able to witness an entire
cookie-cutter love story. AODFCFAMDC (A One-Dimensional Female Character From a
Male-Driven Comedy) is a character who is unique because she is pretty, but
likes sports! She makes this distinction by wearing a pink football jersey. She
has a personality, and isn’t your run-of-the-mill female character, because she
wears GLASSES. Heather, as she calls herself, decides spur-of-the-moment to go
out with Colin Jost, who obviously is confused and baffled. She says he needs
to grow up, then describes a story of the two of them at a lunch party when he
embarrassed her in an 8 thousand dollar dress. After a confused Jost asks who
her pick for the Super Bowl is, she stunningly reveals that she is pregnant. She
then gets mad at him (in a bland way) for getting thrown in jail. Jost
proclaims he has no idea what she’s talking about, causing her to cry at the
thought of him running away until he says he is baffled and had no intention of
making her cry. Heather then forgives him, saying he has grown up, and then she
lets Jost hold his baby, which is an obvious doll. He seems genuinely touched
and hopeful until he realizes something shocking. “Wait a second, is this the
baby from ‘American Sniper?’” Then she leaves him, after being mad about him
leaving her. It’s confusing.
 |
| Cecily Strong as "A One Dimensional Female..." well you can read the picture. |
Anyway, so
what was it about AODFCFAMDC that made her segment so funny? For one, she
breaks down common clichés of female characters in comedies: being
one-dimensional, special because of like of sports, feeling superior to men who
“need to grow up,” and automatically forgiving said men after an apology. Now,
I could list off movies that she was referring to, but to be quite honest, I
haven’t watched too many male-driven comedies with one-dimensional female
characters. So I won’t. You can figure out those movies for yourself, okay? Okay,
moving on. Cecily Strong is one of the funnier cast members on SNL right now,
and this segment proved it, with her absent-minded character stringing along an
incomprehensible narrative during a segment about Super Bowl picks. I mean, she
had a baby in like 2 minutes? Get out of here! But the baby was actually the funniest
part of the segment for me. “American Sniper” is the highest-grossing movie in
America right now, and I must say, it is a really good movie. You should all go
see it. I would review it here, but this is not a movie review blog. Though I
may start a blog for movie reviews now that I think about it… STAY FOCUSED
KYLE!
Sorry about
that.
Anyway, “American
Sniper” includes scenes of the main character, Chris Kyle, and his baby, which
is known to have been a prop in the movie instead of a real baby. So Colin Jost’s
reaction “Is this the baby from ‘American Sniper’” is hilarious for making fun
of that widely-known fact. And if you did not already know that fact, now you
do. Congratulations you learned something new!
 |
| American Sniper's fake baby, which you can clearly see here is a doll. |
“American
Sniper” has been nominated for multiple Oscars this year, which is good,
because the movie is much better than the nominees of last year, which were
mercilessly made fun of by our good friend Jebidiah Atkinson. He is the
harshest critic around, as he has been around to witness every speech,
Christmas Special, Oscar Nominee, play, and as of January 31, Grammy Nominee.
After Colin Jost’s cat joke, Michael Che brought in Jebidiah Atkinson to review
this year’s Grammy Nominees, or as Jebidiah puts it “A night-long tribute to
the Spotify playlist of a 12 year old girl!” After getting the audience
prepared for hilarity, Atkinson goes on to wish he lived in the soundless
vacuum of space and then discusses the songs themselves.
 |
| "Hall And Oates? The most talented member of that group is the 'And!' NEXT!" |
“Meghan
Trainor? She’s all about that bass, ‘bout that bass, no talent!”
He goes on
to tell U2 “I still haven’t found what I’m looking for: a way to delete your
album!” This is in reference to U2’s album being automatically put on new
iPhones from the Cloud, I guess (I’m an Android user). Not content with simply
that funny comment, Atkinson answered Bono’s question: “Without you.”
Atkinson
then moves on to Iggy Azalea, telling her to wake up, smell the Azaleas, and
realize that she’s white. If you think that’s insulting, don’t shoot me, I’m
just the messenger. And don’t you worry, that’s just the tip of the iceberg
with Atkinson.
He goes on
to discuss classic Grammy Nominees. I won’t discuss all his jokes (some are a
bit too insulting) but just talk about the funniest.
“Celine
Dion? Someone turn her Celine Di-off!” He talks about her song featured in “Titanic”
called “My Heart Will Go On.” “This song is a bigger disaster than the actual
Titanic!” He says then “If you ask me, there were too many lifeboats.” After
some jeers, he says “Save it, that’s just the tip of the iceberg!”
 |
| "The Beatles? If anything, they ruined Yoko! NEXT!" |
Later: “Frank
Sinatra. His only decent hits were the ones the mafia did for him!”
Then,
Atkinson discusses the worst nominee ever, Elvis, and this is where his jokes
get so terrible that I will not fully state them. He jokes about Elvis’
affinity for capes and drugs, then his juvenile lyrics, then Michael Jackson.
In what context did Atkinson refer to Jackson? I’d rather not say, but you can
find out for yourself if you really wish to.
Last week I
voiced my disappointment in the Weekend Update for its lack of edge and
unwillingness to insult the famous. Well, it seems that the writers, producers,
and actors of SNL heard me loud and clear, since they brought in Jebidiah
Atkinson to make fun of the Grammy Nominees. I had said that a few good men and
women could save the Weekend Update, and they have. Taran Killam as Jebidiah
Atkinson and Cecily Strong as A One-Dimensional Female Character From a
Male-Driven Comedy bring in the humor and make this Weekend Update segment one
of the best in recent memory. If the writing can continue with good jokes and
the guests can be half as funny as Atkinson, then the Update can be saved.
 |
| The Charlie Brown kids look at the tree with hope. The tree is the Weekend Update and it has hope now that Jebidiah Atkinson has returned to set the standard for the Update's humor. |
Now, there
will not be a new episode this Saturday (February 7) but they will show a classic
episode hosted by Patrick Swayze. I will likely review that rerun, or discuss
other popular Weekend Update moments from the past. Now, if you have any
comments, questions, concerns, suggestions, rants, or anything else to say,
please say it in the comments. I want to know what you all think of my blog, so
please let me know. Also, I would like to hear what you think about the most
recent Weekend Update. Was Jebidiah Atkinson too harsh about Elvis and Michael
Jackson? Is this too edgy or not edgy enough? And now, in the immortal words of
Jebidiah Atkinson: “NEXT!”
Sources (Raise you hand if you actually click on these)
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