Saturday Night Live is a legend in our culture, and one of its
most popular and long-running facets is the Weekend Update. For those of you
who do not know, the Weekend Update is a satirical take on the news in which
jokes are made about different stories through guest characters, clever
punchlines, and moments of awkward silence. Over its 40 years, the Weekend
Update has had many memorable and hilarious moments. So in my inaugural post, I
shall list and discuss my three favorite Weekend Update moments.
1. Jebidiah Atkinson Reviews Oscar Contestants
“I haven’t liked any best picture nominees ever!”
In 2013 SNL debuted a new character named Jebidiah Atkinson, a 19th century newspaper critic famous for
criticizing Abraham Lincoln’s Gettysburg Address, calling it a forgettable
speech in a terrible location with bad acoustics. His popularity earned him
three more appearances on the Weekend Update, one of which was the most
memorable for myself. On March 2, 2014, SNL’s Weekend Update featured Jebediah
Atkinson, just as Oscar season was getting underway. This time, Atkinson went
about attacking the year’s Best Picture nominees. In his own words, “I’m not
impressed!” He called the Oscars 86 years of misery and went on to badmouth
many prestigious films. An interesting note: the first Oscar ceremony was in
1929, but honored films from 1927. This means that his claim of 86 years is not
true of the awards ceremony, but of the movies featured in the ceremony.
Anyway, Atkinson began by discussing movies such as Her, Dallas Buyers Club,
and Gravity . About Her he said that even the main character spent the whole
movie texting. About Gravity, Atkinson said “if I wanted to watch a depressed
middle aged woman float around for 90 minutes I would go to the YMCA pool!” A
bit harsh, don’t you think? But he didn’t stop there; he went on to trash The
Godfather, Schindler’s List, Citizen Kane, and Forrest Gump. About Forrest Gump
Atkinson said that he wished he was Lieutenant Dan’s legs since they got to leave
early. Lieutenant Dan’s character lost his legs and this was portrayed using
CGI to digitally erase the legs (as discussed in an LA Times Article). Overall,
this was one of the funniest characters that I have witnessed on the Weekend
Update, due to his clever and somewhat controversial jokes. Also, Taran
Killam’s portrayal of the crazed critic was (and is) perfection, with hilarious
improvisation – especially when he threw a seemingly magical notecard that
landed right back on his other cards, causing him to joke about the quality of
live television. This was by far the most memorable part of the Weekend Update
that week on SNL, and it will likely remain one of the most hilarious Weekend
Update segments ever. In the immortal words of Jebidiah Atkinson: “NEXT!!!”
2. Adam Sandler’s Hanukkah Song
“So if you feel like the only kid in town
Without a Christmas tree
Here’s a list of people who are Jewish
Just like you and meeee!!!!”
In his famous song of December 3, 1994, Adam Sandler looked to
include all Jewish kids who may have felt left out by Christmas celebrations.
He gracefully showed that Judaism is NOT something to be ashamed about, as many
celebrities share that trait with Jewish kids. He sang that “you can spin your
dreidel with Captain Kirk and Mr. Spock. Both Jewish!” In fact, William Shatner
and Leonard Nimoy, the actors for the roles of the time, are both Jewish.
The current actor of Captain Kirk, Chris Pine, is partially Jewish but the
current Spock actor is not, so children of today may be confused, but that’s a
different issue. Anyway, Sandler listed more celebrities like James Caan, Paul
Newman, Goldie Hawn, Harrison Ford, and Tom Cruise. Interestingly, he said “Tom
Cruise isn’t (Jewish) but I think his agent is!” It is true that Tom Cruise is
not Jewish, so Sandler’s claims seem to be legitimate. And this legitimacy
makes the song so funny, even today. Adam Sandler crafted a unique holiday song
that shows that many people share a common trait, so it’s nothing to be ashamed
of. Near the end of the song, he discouraged smoking “Marijuanakah,” which
sends a good message: do not do drugs or you may not even be able to pronounce
them correctly. He included Jewish kids and ended the song by wishing all a
Happy Hanukkah. So, to conclude: the song is pro-Jewish kids and anti-drugs; it
kills two birds with one entertaining and hilarious stone. If that’s not a
memorable, hilarious moment on the Weekend Update, I don’t know what is.
3. Germans Love David Hasselhoff
“Germans love me.”
Norm MacDonald is arguably the best Weekend Update anchor ever,
due to his dry delivery and borderline offensive jokes. Well, not necessarily
borderline… he really offended people and ended up getting fired for offensive
O.J. Simpson jokes. MacDonald had many ongoing jokes throughout his SNL run,
one of which was his “theory” that Germans love David Hasselhoff. During many
stories that related to Germany, David Hasselhoff, or BayWatch (Hasselhoff’s
show), MacDonald would conclude by saying: “which once again proves my theory
that Germans love David Hasselhoff.” On November 19, 1994, David Hasselhoff
actually appeared on the Weekend Update to discuss a tour he took to many
countries around the world. Naturally, MacDonald asked Hasselhoff how people of
various countries reacted to him, and Hasselhoff responded by describing China
and then Japan. MacDonald, clearly frustrated that his theory was not being
proven, limited Hasselhoff to discussing Northern Europe and the countries that
specifically loved him. Hasselhoff responded with Norway, and MacDonald cut him
off, determined to prove his theory! He specifically asked about Germany, and
as Hasselhoff struggled to give a clear answer, MacDonald interrupted him
(again), described a nameless guy with a theory, pulled out a gigantic stack of
papers as evidence of the theory, and asked Hasselhoff for the courtesy
of not ruining the guy’s life. A confused Hasselhoff was then given a slip of
paper by MacDonald and read it aloud: “Germans love me.” Norm concluded, happily,
with “Which once again proves my theory that Germans love David Hasselhoff!”
This was a classic moment, and is a personal favorite of mine, because it was
the culmination of a long-running gag. The buildup to this moment was
incredible, with countless references to MacDonald’s “theory” throughout his
time as the anchor. This all ended with an epic conclusion, as the subject of
the jokes “confirmed” the “theory” in a hilarious exchange. This was classic
moment of the Weekend Update because it was essentially a long-running buildup
with an epic punchline.
So there you have it: my three favorite Weekend Update moments not
ranked in order of favorite-to-least favorite, but instead shown in
reverse-chronological order. These moments for me were truly hilarious and
quite inspirational. I will never watch my favorite movies the same way again,
nor think of Germany or the Christmas season the same way again. Now, if you
have any disagreements with my SUBJECTIVE list, then please let me know in the
comments. And I would like you to share: what is your favorite SNL Weekend
Update moment? Next week I will take a look at the Weekend Update of the
episode on January 17, so please check that out as soon as I post it. And hey, guess what? This is my first blog post! Hooray! Now, I'm new to this, so if you have any suggestions for me to improve my blog posts, blog design, writing, topics, etc... LET ME KNOW! I want to know what you all think of this blog so please put any suggestions and/or criticism in the comments below. But please, do not insult other people in the comments, because that could get ugly. Let's keep it civil here, alright? So that's about it. To conclude, in the immortal words of one of the Weekend Update anchors (Colin
Quinn?): “That’s my story, and I’m sticking to it.”
(1,335 words FYI)
Sources (in case you wanted to know):
Wow Kyle! This blog is so funny. Good job :) I personally have never watched the weekend update but after reading your article, I think 'I'm going to start tuning in.
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